My next letter to Obama will be shorter than the first.
Dear Mr. Obama,
I would like the following to be considered for your $819 million stimulus plan:
I found a house online I really like. It's got, like, 7 bedrooms and a freakin' hot tub on the porch that comes out from the master bedroom's balcony. Sweet.
Anyways, it's about $1,669,000. I'm sure I can talk 'em down a bit in this economy, but I would like to account for the full price. You know, for house inspection costs and home warranties and closing costs and such.
I would like to pay off some debt. I would also like to pay off FUTURE debt that I may incur as life goes on and as I discover I need more shoes. Let's just say $500,000.00. That should do it for now. I'll let you know if later down the road I'm in need.
I would love to buy the company I work for. Why, you ask? Long story short, the owner is going through a nasty divorce with his wife, who happens to be the CFO. It's not pretty. So, I want to buy the company so I can be in charge and take as many days off as I want. I want money, but I don't want to work. You know? We'll talk money details later. Just me and you.
That's all for now.
Thx. Bye.
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2 comments:
hey, if you don't get what you need in this first round of bailout, send another letter in a few months after this one passes - i hear that's when their gonna come up with ANOTHER one to actually tackle the banks and housing crisis.
this current plan? eh, not so much.
oh how clever - the secret password i have to type in to post this comment is "ducing." my thoughts exactly.
Haaaaaaa!
"Ducing." Awesome.
Good call about another bailout. Gee, I hope I get my house.
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