Ari Hest

This guy is a genius.

I first heard him on The Loft on XM. He was doing an acoustic set and hosting it, too.

He talked about his "strategy," of sorts.

In 2008, he released 52 songs. One a week. For those that wanted to download them, they could pay $20 at any point in the year and get all 52 songs.

At the end of the year, he had people vote on their 12 favorites. Those became his album that was available to the general public.

Throughout the year, he even did this thing where he let his fans choose the song titles.

Pretty cool. The guy has a great voice (isn't bad-looking, either), and is a talented songwriter.

I recommed you check 'em out. I'm contemplating buying an album, myself. It's artists like him, that take the creative approach to his work, that I like supporting.

Cat in a box

Cats + weird weather = hilarity

This picture was taken 30 minutes prior to her falling straight down into the empty box.
Awesome.

What economy?!

Barrett Parkway in Kennesaw, GA.

1pm on Saturday.

The notion that the economy is bad is bullshit.

My recent reads

I haven't had a ton of time to read lately (I've been trying to work hard to make money so that I can give it to the government).

Here's what I've been up to the past few months...

Cold Plague by Daniel Kalla
Not a bad "airport read," but to me, it was something I could put down and come back to.

Not at all like ANYTHING by Jen Lancaster.

I read all three of her books in a very short amount of time.

She is my hero.

She is incredibly sarcastic, intelligent, witty, and best of all - right-winger.

LOVED her books. I have never understood when people say they've laughed out loud while reading a book.

Now, I understand.

Even better: She has a blog. Holy cow. I want to marry her.

Another great read: I Was Told There'd Be Cake, by Sloan Crosley.

Great shorts by another sarcastic young lady. Loved it.

I'm in the midst of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler. As liberal as she is, it's still a funny book.

Can Obama fulfill his promises?

No.

Shortest post.

Ever.

Craig's List Fun

Anyone who has a job knows that when it's slow, Craig's List is a great thing to look at and laugh your ass at.

This guy has made it even better.

Twitter

Okay, out of curiosity, I joined Twitter.

Anyone else on that damn thing?

I'm not impressed yet.

The best compliment EVER

I walked with Ashley, a 7-year old, up to the parking lot last night after softball practice.
Her parents and the head coach walked ahead of us, talking about the upcoming season.

Ashley looked up at the backstop we were walking past. The net had caught 3 softballs.

"I could totally climb up and get those," she said to me confidently.

"No way," I said, like a 7-year old.

"Yup."

"But you'd get in trouble, 'cause that's a tall fence to climb."

"I wouldn't get in trouble."

"Why not?"

"'Cause you're the only one who would see me do it, and you wouldn't tell on me because you're not that kind of person."

I felt awesome.

Glenn Beck

Did anyone else see Glenn Beck on Fox and Friends this morning, talking about the economic crisis?

I love him. He is great. He is not scared to say what everyone is thinking. Or at least, what many SHOULD be thinking.

His point was this: Let the banks that made bad decisions fail. Let them. Stop throwing money at the problem. Did we learn nothing from the past? Apparently not.

If below didn't piss you off, THIS will

Ready for this?

As long as 9 million flailing homeowners make a "good faith effort" to stay current on their mortgage payments, they'll get a bailout.

Even if you have a second mortgage.

Even if you want to re-fi because you made the sorry mistake of getting an ARM.

To all those who pay your bills on time:

MAN, are you (er, I mean, we) stupid or WHAT?!

This oughta piss you off

The "Octomom" is $23K behind on her mortgage payments.

Her house is up for auction May 3rd.

Why God allows people like this to procreate and good, infertile people wish to have children... I'll never know.

I firmly do NOT believe in the medical world helping someone get pregnant.

I believe that no matter how badly someone wants a child - if you can't have a child, there is a REASON. Whether that is for your health, or a child's health - why do people insist in playing God?

There are so many children out there who need adoption.

And yet, this Angelina-Jolie-wannabie plumps her lips, her uterus, and pops out 8 babies.

It's bad enough she's popped out ANY when she's can't afford it.

This women should be imprisoned and sterilized.

I feel so sorry for those children.

Where we're going

Ever read "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie?"

Read it.

It's what is going on with this bailout SHIT.

Give a liberal $10, they'll ask for $20.

We are regressing in race relations

Obama's administration has already proved itself to be full of liars and cheats who either lack experience or sense. In many cases - they lack both.

Take Attorney General Holder, for example.

This man calls the U.S. "cowardly" for hanging out in "race-protected cocoons."

Is the guy a fucking NUT?!

It is human to want to avoid conflict. In many cases, this means befriending people much like ourselves.

Sure, you can probably name as many people as you are different than you are similar.

But who is your best friend?

Most likely, it is someone who shares your beliefs, experiences, and values.

In many times, that similarity CORRELATES with race, gender, creed.

We fell most comfortable and safe around those similar to us.

I tend to gravitate towards intelligent thinkers with senses of humor who don't take themselves so damn seriously. Guess what? Those people happen to be conservatives, not liberal racists who hate white people so much they get sick over it.

It is degrading to the U.S. in general that this monster was selected for Attorney General. He is a disgrace to the race relations that this country HAS made steps to grow.

You wonder if the guy hasn't made such a big deal with race that he has no white friends. Thus, he automatically assumes white people are the devil. Gee, buddy. You're a real winner. I'd want to hang out with you. (insert dripping sarcasm here)

It makes me sick. Especially for two very good black friends of mine. One is an incredibly intelligent woman who was offered a free ride to Darden School of Business. She is a rationale thinker who doesn't classify herself as Democrat or Republican. And she had a really hard time accepting the fact that she was offered a free ride to Darden. She asked me if it would bother me if I knew I was given something for the color of my skin.

Because of her grades, her community service, her work experience - I knew that the scholarship offer wasn't because of her skin.

But it's so sad that this fact even crossed her mind to make her doubt her actual SELF WORTH.

I am so sick of SOME blacks ruining it for them all.

Holder is a racist, socialist, selfish, liar who needs to get the "I hate white people" stick out of his ass.

The U.S. isn't cowardly because you perceive white people not to like you.
You perceive white people not to like you because you think the U.S. is cowardly.

Obama won. What other proof do you need that race relations have progressed since the Civil Rights era? Will you EVER be happy?!

Pakistani woman watches as the Taliban takes over town she loves

This article is interesting.

Sadly, I can see a parallel with me seeing the U.S. right now.

I'm not saying the U.S. government is prohibiting females from going out without a male escort, but... well, it's pretty damn close. The U.S. government in general is prohibiting its citizens for thinking on their own. The U.S. government is working so hard to stay in YOUR paycheck, in YOUR lives, in YOUR medical care - that no original thought you have will truly be your own.

In my eyes, the Taliban are preventing women in Pakistan from what they've never truly had.
Meanwhile, the U.S. government is preventing women AND men in the U.S. from having what they ever truly could.

The Beginning of the End

Okay, it's not so much the beginning anymore. It's really the middle of the beginning of the end.

Obama is planning on saving us all, and his next step is the homeowner bailout.

WTF?!

The term "Foreclosure Prevention Plan" is scary as hell.

If you have worked in many industries that pertain to mortgages - or even been on your HOA Board, you understand how difficult it already IS to foreclose on a house.

In Georgia (not sure if this is a federal thing or what), a lawyer or collections agency has to inform the owner of the to-be-foreclosed on house via letter about their intent to collect. Then, the person has 30 days to respond. If they respond, the whole DAMN CLOCK resets!
Even if they respond with, "Nah, I've been paying my bills. I don't know what you morons are talking about," written on a brown paper bag.

And that's just for collections! A foreclosure suit is a whole different ballgame.

It's scary because everyone else's values are going right down the shitter, and will continue. If you are in a neighborhood of 125 houses, and a handful of them are in foreclosure, and are sold for a good chunk of change less than what you bought yours for, guess what happens to YOUR value?

But Obama plans to stop that.

What happens when the bottom falls out? What happens when the government can't hold its breath anymore? What happens when the majority of U.S. homeowners don't GIVE A DAMN anymore?

What's the point in paying your bills, seriously? Good credit rating? Who cares! I can't get credit SOMEWHERE, or at least apply for grants, loans, welfare...
Wait a second... why the HELL do I even have a JOB?! How silly I have been!

I dated a person a long time ago who had traveled around the world. He said that if we ended up together, he'd want to move outside the U.S.
He loved the U.S., it wasn't an anti-U.S. thing - it was more of a "spread the democracy" thought.
I hesitantly said I would, silently thinking: "Depends where," knowing that he wanted to spend more time in a place that you pooped in a hole in the ground. My butt cheeks like cold plastic toilet seats, thanks.

But now, looking forward, I wouldn't mind leaving the U.S.

Not because I want to spread democracy, but because I'm desperately seeking where it still flourishes. I wonder if it ever did in the U.S., for such nonsense to take flight.

Laziness really overcomes all, hm?

2 things non-politically related that are pissing me off

#1 - To the asshole that tailgated me in the pouring rain this morning:
I hate you.
May you never, EVER receive oral sex.

#2 - To the idiot who just commented on a friend's Facebook page:
"Not much! :P Still livin' life & lovin' it"

You're an idiot.
Of course you are living. Obviously. You typed a needless message on your friend's page.
And the term "living life" is kind of redundant in this sentence. If you can call it a sentence.

What, pray tell, are you "lovin'?" Life? Living? So unclear.

Anyways, just needed to get that off my chest.

And yes, the girl who wrote #2 is a liberal. So I'm biased a bit.

The International

We saw "The International" today, and I was pretty impressed.

They took a contrived story line, and made it understandable, plausible, and entertaining for 2 hours.

Clive Owen was excellent. Naomi Watts was weak (I'm not a huge fan).

Some of the lines were cheesy, but I liked the premise.

A guy wants to redeem himself at work for a screw up that he had at work years ago.
He happens to stumble into part II of a massive bank cover-up. What is the bank after - control? Money? Kind of a combo of both. As long as their customers are in debt, they rule.
Clive's character has to find the assassin of the bank, the guy who kills people who sniff too closely.
I won't give away the end, but I will say that I liked the ending: It was the most realistic part of it all.

The moral of the story is "the only way for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

But even then, there'll always be someone there to piss you off.

The Oceanaire

Holy. Cow.

We just had the best dinner. Ever.

If you have a chance to ever try The Oceanaire (several cities have the seafood restaurant), TRY IT.

We were given tiny cups of a roasted red pepper soup to start.

I had a Red Cherry Pomegrante martini.

Matt and split a crab cake as an appetizer. Hands down, the best crab cake I've ever had.
ALL crab meat.

Matt had seared scallops with saffron butter. I had filet mignon.
We split red mashed potatos, and wrapped it all up with a piece of their chocolate mousse cake.

Holy. Cow.

I'm done. I've completed all I needed in life now.

I'm so lost

I'm really confused.

Who the F**K is Gallup polling?! Are they asking people to check off boxes who can't read? Are they speaking French to 5th graders?

I don't see how this jives:

As of late last week, Obama has a 67% approval rating (down 15 points from his inaguration day, BTW).

The Democrats in Congress have a 48% approval rating (????) and the Republicans have a 31%.

I say we do this: Before taking part in a Gallup poll, you have to prove that you know who your Senators are.

Who the F are they asking? People that hate Republicans just 'cause GWB was one?!

Watch "Idiocracy" on Comedy Central this Sunday night. It's what our country is turning into.

I want to see what Obama's approval ratings are after this week, considering 51% of Americans don't approve of the stimulus bill (Democracy at its finest, no?).

Dear Obama, thanks for nothing

I'm gonna sound really stupid here, and I'm doing it kind of tongue and cheek.

Gee, why have gas prices steadily gone up since Obama has been President?

I thought he was going to save us all, or at least put gas in my car?

Progression of Rainbows

From the same storm system that brought all those crazy tornados to Oklahoma...

(side note - I think the storm happened 'cause Obama hates white people. It stands to reason, right? Since Katrina happened 'cause Bush hates black peopled?)

Is the education system to blame for the stimulus package?

I got to thinking just now...
(yes, I know... dangerous... I'll try not to let it happen again...)

I wonder how much of this we can blame on our education system.

I graduated high school in 2000, if that helps you figure out whether or not you want to classify yourself in the "we" and "our" categories with me.

Growing up, we were all taught that the New Deal saved us all. We were taught that the government HAD to get involved, else we'd be no more.

I wonder how much of the socialism was worked into our education to convince the average American that the stimulus package is really necessary?

I don't know about you, but I was taught that the New Deal gave food, money, jobs, and puppies to everyone. Okay, maybe not puppies.

Anyways, I got to thinking after reading about Obama's narcissm at Dr. Sanity's blog.

Drug users, fake home runs, and tax evaders

What do all of these types of people have in common?

They've all been in the news lately, and they can be associated by Michael Phelps, Alex Rodriguez, and Tom Daschle.

Let's break this down, because I have a bone to pick with the law and the media.

Michael Phelps won 12 gold medals, set an ass-load of world records, and then acted like a college student.

No, I'm not excusing it. Hell, I think he should be treated like anyone else caught using pot.

But should he be HANGED for it? No.

As an aside, is the drug performance-enhancing? I think not.

Let's now discuss Alex Rodriguez, speaking of performance-enhancing.

Steroids. Hm. Those affect things, right? Like whether or not he beats Barry Bonds' home run record? Oh, wait. Yet another liar and drug user. Hm.

He used steroids illegally. Should he be HANGED for it? No. But he should get a little footnote next to his stats, just like Bonds. And I'd love for people to make fun of him when he comes out to the plate. Something about "small balls" or "Alex Small-Rodriguez."

Let's move on to my personal favorite. The one that works me up the most.

Tom Daschle. Tax-evader. He evading thousands in taxes. Should he be HANGED for it? YES.

Why? Because what he did affects EVERYONE. He paid less in taxes, while others continued to pay theirs. Who knows? Maybe if enough politicians in Washington evaded their taxes, we'd have a political crisis.

I have read HORRIFIC articles online that call Daschle a "victim of the system."

I agree we need tax reform, but I'm calling BULLSHIT on this one.

Daschle has "people" who do his taxes. Don't tell me his own fucking accountant didn't do his job. Puh-lease. Don't wanna hear it.

Call me jaded. Call me a cold-hearted conservative.

Tens of thousands of dollars? That's not an accident. That's a lie and a theft.

And don't get me started on the Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner.

He's such a liar that the freakin' stock market nearly crashed when he unvieled his financial plan. God help us all.

My point is this:

Michael Phelps and "A-Rod" both participated in illegal activities. Phelps' drug doesn't positively affect his choice of sport. For A-Rod, the choice he made does affect his choice in favor of better stats. I think he's a lowlife because he's a cheater. But does he affect my life? Nope.

Tom Daschle. Does he affect my life?

YES. He affects MANY.

And yet, where's the outrage?

"Oh, well, he pulled out of the cabinet nomination," some would argue with me.

In that case, then, we should excuse the lying, cheating, piece of shit, right? I mean, if a child molestor apologizes, we should accept the apology and allow him to babysit your kids, right?

When will liberals get it?!

Liberals want to tax US more so that they can get AWAY with shit like this.

Perhaps I should word it in a way half the country seems to understand.

Liberals want to tax YOU more so that they can get AWAY with shit like this.

Where is the outrage that would send this guy to leave his career in politics?

People are so apathetic, it's PATHETIC.

SNL, start your engines

Finally, someone that people can REALLY make fun of. Joe Biden.

'Cause God forbid - you make fun of the President, and you're racist.

I love this picture of Obama on CNN's website. It's so unflattering of Obama. To me, it inadvertently makes fun of people who voted for Obama 'cause his abs were better than McCain's.

Joe Biden is really flippin' crazy. he says what he's thinking, sans filter. Not good with you're a bleeding heart liberal in Washington, with the media swarming you and questionning everything from your foreign policy thoughts on Iran to your last bowel movement.

I am still trying to figure out Obama's logic for picking him. Old white guy who thinks his experience is good enough to help lead the country? Or maybe he just figures that VP is a dead end job, so you may as well pick someone who is a dead end. If that's the case, then Bravo, Obama. Bravo.

There's a silver lining to every cloud

Illegal immigrants are now saying they can't make it in the U.S.


GOOD! Then GO HOME!

(I had a ton more of this post before Blogger decided to be a pain in the ass and freeze the screen, dumping the post and not saving the majority of it)

Anyways, the gist of my initial long-winded post was: WHO GIVES A DAMN!? Go home already! If it takes the damn poor economy to get your ass to go home, then so be it.

Starbucks now "on par" with Dunkin Donuts?

I am a proud "Starbucks Gold" card member. My favorite drink in the universe is an iced nonfat white chocolate mocha. Even when it's 10 degrees out. Sure, I get weird looks from the cashier when I order it, wearing a scarf and jacket. But, it assures me that they'll think I'm so weird they won't carry on a conversation with me.

(As an aside - to all grocery baggers out there - I appreciate you being nice and trying to strike up a conversation, but please don't point to my hamburger meat, ketchup, and rolls, and ask if I'm making burgers. Because my snide-ass response to you will be, "No, I like to roll in the meat and ketchup. It turns my husband on.")

Check out their bacon, egg, and cheese on an english muffin. Not too shabby.
I'm not a fan of the low-fat one, but, to each his own.

Anyways, support your local Starbucks. They're not the evil corporation the libs want you to think. I have found their baristas to be quite pleasant, hard-working people.

Besides, I love the smell of my clothes after I've been sitting in Starbucks for an hour, reading.

Drug tests

Something to give you a headache (because I love you all that much)...

A co-worker came to me Monday morning and told me how she's been having problems with her son and drug use. The kid tested positive at a hospital last week for THC and PCP.

Don't ask.

So, the co-worker was concerned about her 15-year old daughter and her 15-year old boyfriend.

What did she do? Drug tested the kid. Outta the blue. She called her husband downstairs and made him stand in the bathroom as the kid peed in a cup.

I looked at her, stunned.

"You know you just walked right into a potential lawsuit, right?" I asked.

She blinked. "Huh?"

"Let's see... your husband could be charged with child molestation 'cause he watched the kid drop trousers and pee. I'm sure drug testing someone else's kid infringes upon all sorts of minor's rights and stuff."

"But he's hanging out with my daughter."

"So talk to HIS parents. Or call the police if you think the kid is doing drugs."

"Oh. Could I go to jail?"

I shrugged. "I'm no lawyer. I dunno. I suppose."

"Well, he tested negative for everything," she said proudly.

I felt that headache behind my eyes come on again.

This morning, she came to me and said: "The parents called me last night and thanked me for drug testing their son. Apparently, they've been wanting to do the same thing, but they haven't been able to afford the drug test kit."

That headache is now here to stay.

Ah, the double standard continues

Did anyone else like how at least 3 channels covered Obama's "first press conference" last night?

Did anyone else smell the Marxism and Socialism seeping through the television screen?

Hm. Maybe that was just the baked potato I was eating.

Holy crap! Where have I been?!

Glenn Beck has moved from Headline News to Fox News, I heard! Wow, shows you how much I've tuned out news. He says he likes working with people who will talk to him in the elevator now. Ha.

Glenn Beck is awesome. He's a voice of reason and sanity in a slew of commentators that do nothin' but "bloviate."

Check him out if you haven't already. He's on Fox News at 5pm EST.

Nutso Ron Paul looks pretty sane right now

Wow. Who would have thought I agreed with Ron Paul on this 100%?

Paul said that he agrees that the economy needs to be stimulated but that he doesn't think the federal government should be doing it.

"Sure, we want more spending," Paul said. "We need a lot more spending in the economy, but it has to be done by market forces, by individuals, by businesses making proper decisions."

DUH! Hello! Earth to Congress! Earth to you low life piece of shit theiving politicians!

Like I said. I hate people.

My closet

I stood back and proudly looked at my thinned out closet, a pile of clothes I hadn't worn in 6 months sitting on the floor.

"See? Now I've even color-coded the shirts," I pointed out the row of shirts to Matt that I was so proud of. Never again would I take navy blue instead of black when I picked blindly in the mornings.

Matt raised his eyebrows, pursed his lips, and nodded politely, walking out of the master bedroom.

"I have 6 black tank tops. Do you think that's excessive?" I asked.

"Noooo..." Matt said, lying.

"Crazy, maybe?" I said, trying to find the term.

"I don't think 'crazy' is the right word. I think it's a term you're looking for. Like 'you have too many fucking black tank tops,' " he said from the hallway on his way down the stairs.

I looked back at my closet.


"But it's such a slimming color."


I got no response. I think at that point, he had tuned me out.

Can't say I blame him.

Speaking of that low life Ashley Judd...

After you read my post below, read this article about a mother who starved her child.

And then, tell me why celebrities aren't in an uproar about THESE animals who do this kind of thing to human beings?

I REALLY hate people.

What was the last movie you were in, anyways?

Ashley Judd wants Sarah Palin to stop killing the wolves.

Or something to that effect.

Quick question - Since when did Judd become the all-knowing advocate on wolves? Does she really think Palin is advocating this program because Palin hates wolves?

Wow.

Ashley, you suck. I don't even think you're that talented of an actress, to be honest. And when people pay to see your shitty movies, they certainly aren't paying to hear your political thoughts.

When will actors and actresses get off their soapboxes and just make movies? Even the crappy ones?

More proof that this is the beginning of the end

Kendra from "Girls Next Door" is getting married and is also getting her own reality show.

She'll have to adjust to not having the Playboy Mansion staff. She'll have to cook, clean, and do her own laundry.

Hilarity will ensue. And I will cry.

Daschle pulls out

No, not that way. Although, minimizing his chance to procreate would have been nice.

He has decided that with all the hub-bub about that nuisance they call "tax paying," he shouldn't be the choice for Health and Human Services.

Welp, one less corrupt politician in the cabinet. At least, that we know of.

The trash that is the stimulus bill

I have a family member who works for CNN, and she says that there is a big push to get CNN back to the middle.

They have been on their Obama-gasm for a while, and apparently, they have decided that now is the time to come to the middle. Fox is way right. CNN is way left. Then there are those of us who have headaches and hate 'em all.

We shall see.

Meanwhile, I'm mildly impressed that the headline "What GOP Leaders deem wasteful in Senate Stimulus Bill" graced the front page of CNN.com

Wow. It's neither derogatory nor liberal. It's factual. Wow.

So, what's included in that $900 billion stimulus package, you ask?

Not money for my $1.7 million dollar house I want, I'll tell you that.

• $2 billion earmark to re-start FutureGen, a near-zero emissions coal power plant in Illinois that the Department of Energy defunded last year because it said the project was inefficient.

• A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.

• $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters.

• $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.

• $600 million to buy hybrid vehicles for federal employees.

• $160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.

Try again, politicians. Try again.